indigo

Two weeks ago a friend called to invite me to have my aura photographed with her at the Padlock Gallery by a visiting "galactic channel, spiritual counselor, visionary speaker, and existensial alchemist" named Ackbar.

Here is the best definition I could find regarding how the photo is produced:

"This is classified as a biofeedback apparatus. Our technologies produce an electronic interpretation of what we believe the Aura would looks like. It does not photograph the actual Aura. There's nothing that exists which can do this. The camera actually moves through two processes. It takes about eight to ten seconds to take an aura portrait. In the first two seconds the Polaroid camera snaps the portrait. In the remaining six to eight seconds, the biofeedback apparatus measures the electral potential along the meridian points of the palm of the hand, then converts that information into an electrical frequency and displays this as colors and pattern which are shown directly over the portrait to represent the Aura. The aura photos are brighter than the aura seen by psychics, because we amplify the signal. "

When Ackbar did my reading, he talked not only about the meaning of the individual colors, but also their relationship to the different chakras. In my case, he saw primarily indigo (along with blue and purple) which generally indicates a search for truth, but also psychic abilities (say wha??) which emanated from the "third eye" and crown chakras.

Since having my aura photographed, I've been doing research online regarding the strength and energy associated with color. I found a really intriguing website which clearly spells out the strengths, weakness, abilities and ailments associated with each color and chakra, and goes on to describe ways in which you can use color to improve your life. The part that I found most exciting was "color breathing."

http://threeheartscompany.com/chakra.html

If asked why I choose to paint instead of some other medium, I would probably talk about it's relationship to drawing. But, of the all the formal characteristics of paint, color is by far the most important to me. I often use flat shapes, or in some cases fields, of color to lend to my paintings a certain moodiness or psychological weight. In the past, I have just thought of it as my personal, somewhat eccentric, palette. I am pretty psyched to learn more about these ancient associations of specific colors to the body and spirit, and I can sense this becoming much more important in some upcoming paintings...

Beautiful Human

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a panel discussion of the Beautiful Human show at Haverford College. Our very own Laura Graham is one of the six talented artists who were invited to include their work in the lovely show, along with Donald Camp, Matthew Fisher, Rob Matthews, Joshua Mosley, and James Mundie. There were several works exhibited by each artist, which gave the feeling, as curator Shelley Spector mentioned during the discussion, of six mini- solo shows.

In looking at the show, I personally was more interested in the way each artists' work defined portraiture rather than beauty. Formally, there were a lot of common threads - working in black and white, varying-but-all-on-the-high-side degrees of representationalism, obvious attention to detail, relatively minimal/clean technical execution, etc. But, each of the artists really approached portraiture in very different ways.

To start with the lone woman represented in the show, Laura's use of masks and archetypes serve to remove the individual and transform the models into specifically articulated, albeit anonymous, characters. Matthew Fisher's soldiers are similarly reduced to any/every-man status through their uniforms and stylized faces.

At the other end of the spectrum are the small, intimate and painstaking graphite portraits by Rob Matthews. His subjects are rendered with incredible draftsmanship and disciplined, repetitive line work. The care and patience alone taken in the act of this type of drawing suggest a relationship between the artist and sitter. The further inclusion of the symbolic objects held by the people in his drawings invite the viewer to "get to know" them in a humble and personal way.

During the discussion, there was one small comment that really resonated with me. In talking about process, Laura said that none of her photographs ever turn out the way she pictured them in her head. Rob added that the ones that you know exactly how they're going to look are the ones you never bother making anyway. This is something that I've always struggled with -- I've had ideas that will stick with me for years, that I never get around to. It wasn't until I heard him say the words that I realized why, and why I shouldn't worry so much about it.

Shecky's Girls' Night Out, Part II

In case you're just tuning in, you can find below a post from last week in which I itemized the contents of a goodie bag I received at an event a few weeks ago.

A good friend had heard about Shecky's Girls' Night Out, an evening that promised shopping, drinks, food and whatever else it is that women love to spend their money on. For $25, we thought it would be a hoot. Upon entering the giant site of the event, we knew that whatever it was we were expecting, this was not it. To set the scene, the giant room was filled with rows of tables where vendors (of clothing, makeup, handbags, etc.) were hocking their wares. At the far end of the room, there were two bar stations set up, one with bottled beer selections and the other with cutely named vodka cocktails. Oh, and women. Hundreds, if not a thousand or more, women. Here are my observations, in no particular order:

• There was no one "type" that stood out more than another. These women were of all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnicities. The only constant was, of course, gender.
• I've been in a number of "open bar" situations and, regardless of circumstance, there is always a long line at the bar. In this case, there was a small line for the cocktails, but relatively no line for the beers. Each time I went to get one. In contrast, the lines for the only "food" being offered [bite-size portions of Lean Cuisine paninis hot out of the microwave] snaked through dozens of tables. Worth the wait? Definitely not.
• People in crowds move slowly with no regard for those around them. Removing men from the equation does not change this annoying fact.
• I likened the quality of sound in the cavernous, estrogen-filled room to a beehive. Many indoor-appropriate voices that never, ever stop. This was very different from a mixed sex crowd.

After three beers and no more than an hour, both my friend and I agreed that we had seen enough. We picked up our goodie bags and headed to the nearest bar. It was there that we spread out the goodies and found that the contents could be divided into two piles: products targeting women that have sex, and products targeting women who don't. We laughed and laughed while dividing them up, but in re-examining the freebies I thought about how this tied in with a theme that recurs in the collective like clockwork - the dualities present in every woman.

As for the items themselves, here's a couple examples to illustrate what I'm talking about. Most are pretty straightforward, but almost all could be assigned. Women who have sex: the bikini cream, the mini-toothbrushes, the Alka-Seltzer hangover pills. Women who don't: the microwave brownie, the romance novel, the sunblock. Some even had counterparts - bulky maxi pads for the sexless, ob tampons in their own discrete carrying case for the sexed.

And, of course, this leads to the question of whether they're for two different women, or two different sides of every woman. To cite another Mad Men example (my present obsession), there was an episode where they were coming up with a new ad campaign for Playtex, who wanted to tap into the sexiness of Maidenform advertisements. One of the lesser characters came up with an inarguably good idea - to play on the idea of all women fitting into one of two archetypes (Marilyn or Jackie) and having a bra for each. Don, being the brilliant heartbreaker that he is, added the twist that each woman embodies both of these personality types.

But is that the case? There seems to be an obvious answer -- that within each of us exists both sides of the coin. But, I'm not so sure that I buy it. Sure, our behaviors and attitudes at any given time might fall into either category, and of course there is a spectrum rather than a dichotomy, but when I look around at my friends, and myself, I have no trouble assigning a type.

Shecky's Girls' Night Out, Part I

A few weeks ago, I went with a friend to an event named Shecky's "Girls' Night Out." Upon leaving, I was given a goodie bag containing the items below (in no particular order):

1. Kotex "Night & Day" maxipads, packaged in an unnecessarily large box with an illustration of a woman sleeping with the words "move freely" and "free samples inside," but no mention of maxipads
2. "Orchid Sparks" eye accent pencil
3. 3 o.b. tampons in a reusable carry case
4. Body Shop samples: white musk, vitamin E moisture cream, tea tree oil blemish fade night lotion
5. Griptastic hairbands
6. Colour Collection hairbands
7. Aveeno sunblock
8. Riceworks parmesan and sundried tomato gourmet brown rice crisps
9. KY touch massage 2-in-1 warming body massage and personal lubricant
10. Suite Scarlett, a novel by by Maureen Johnson
11. Aquafresh white trays Revive
12. KY jelly personal lubricant
13. Crime Scene at Cardwell Ranch, a novel by B.J. Daniels, the cover of which prominently features the promise of "Romance and Mystery await you between the covers..."
14. Betty Crocker Warm Delights molten chocolate cake bowl
15. Noah's Naturals grapefruit shower gel
16. Colgate Wisp mini-brush with freshening bead
17. Noxzema Spa Shave razor
18. Aveeno essential moisture lip conditioner
19. Alka-Seltzer Wake-Up call pain reliever/alertness aid "for after a night out"
20. Larabar lemon bar
21. Softsoap body butter apricot scrub
22. Yes to Carrots C Me Smile lip butter
23. Noxzema soothe & smooth maximum strength medicated bikini cream
24. Organics by Noah's Naturals rosemary mint lip balm
25. Skyy Infusions magnetic drink recipes for XRated Flirtini, Midori Margarita and Shop Till You Drop

Part II of this blog will include my observations during the event and further analysis of all the "goodies."

words

www.brianandbobbyspeak.com

I've known this guy, Bobby Wolter, for longer than just about any non-McKinley. He started writing letters years ago to someone he was introduced to by a friend. They're both Philly musicians, and both have cystic fibrosis. Because of the latter, they were never able to meeting in person, but developed an amazing freindship through correspondence.

They recently decided to publish these letters as a blog. They contain their most honest and intimate thoughts about life and death and art and love. I found them to be both uplifting and humbling. I also noticed that there is absolutely no transition in their voices or their subject matter when the means shifted from intimate letters between two people to letters that they knew were going to be published on the blog. Their openness and sincerity is refreshing to find on the internet.

In re-reading his letters over the past couple days, I was struck by how often Bobby mentioned his desire to help people. I know that his words have helped me a lot, and in celebrating his life, I wanted to pass them on.

Not the Wheel, the Carousel

Always a bit slow to pick up on television shows, I have just recently discovered the dark sexy magic that is Mad Men. I feel like I could blog about this show for months, there are so many sides of it that address the issues I confront in my art. And it's just so pretty - the clothes, the light, the color - and goddamn Don Draper. I just finished watching the first season thanks to the good folks at netflix, and was so moved by the scene below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suRDUFpsHus

So much of my work is rooted in nostalgia, not only for things as they were, but for how I wished them to be. For me that is the ultimate frustration ("God it's so painful when something that's so close is still so far out of reach") -- haunting memories of possibilities squandered or beautiful people and situations that somehow slipped away.

I've always considered family snapshots to be one of the most interesting genres of portraiture. Candid pictures capture moments that would otherwise be forgotten, and often let you see something in yourself and your loved ones in a way that you can only notice when frozen. Posed pictures can say even more - in attempting to put your best face forward, you reveal not only how you would like to be perceived, but often unintentionally whatever side you're trying to hide.

This monologue really captures the incredible strength of personal photographs. I know that I can think for days of my memories of a family member who's passed away without shedding a tear, and one quick glimpse of them blowing out their birthday candles can reduce me to a sobbing wreck. As Don eloquently points out, these images have the power to transport you to another time.

Time to throw open the albums and pick up the paint brush...

a day in the life

I thought you, dear reader, might be a little curious about a day in the life of the Other Woman. Well, not a whole day, but the latter part of the morning and the afternoon last Sunday. On my way to the home where we will one day live together, making art and eating chocolate and raising babies and goats and entertaining the occasional gentleman caller, I encountered torrential rains and flash floods. But nothing can keep me from my girls... Sadly, Aubrie and I were literally two ships passing in the storm, but one day soon we'll all be together.

And now, a brief accounting of the events that transpired, the topics of discussion, and the horrors stumbled up on youtube (in list form, of course):

• blueberry pancakes
• "milking" as a possible income-earning opportunity
• shaved heads
• our band-to-be
• breastfeeding third graders
• jacko
• hyper-realistic baby dolls
• real dolls that look like us and whether or not we'd have sex with them
• a real doll that is a composite of all of us (our "baby")
• munchkin suicide
• talking toys with secret messages
• nakie swimmie
• the G train
• Twitler, a variation on Twitter used to track Gerard-Butler related thoughts and acts of stalking
• former [fingers-crossed!] stalkers
• French men

And, on a barely related note, my mom just sent me an e-mail containing the following [unattributed] quote:

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll create a life. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

past work

I came across this card I made for my mom. I'm always fascinated by the shit kids come up with. I think it speaks for itself.

Dear Juliet, will you marry me?

I was walking in West Philadelphia last week when I heard my name called out. I turned to find one of my most admired BFF crushes, Juliet Wayne, screwdriver-filled McDonald's mug in hand. We have been acquaintances for years and have a great appreciation for each other's artwork. Every time we cross paths, we vow to make portraits of one another. The time is now!


Anyway, we talked for a while about portraiture and how people are sometimes bothered that what is intended as a portrait of the sitter more closely resembles the artist. Bullshit, we say! Why wouldn't it look like the artist? When is art ever really about anything else? In this case, though, I am going to try to make a portrait of her, and her new M.O. - she's "just not taking it anymore." The part that seems simplest to explain is having a job in order to make money. She's so over that. Now she's trash-picking items to sell at yard sales, supplemented by tarot card readings and Otter Pop sales. My favorite part of her explaining this newfound philosophy -- "So today I felt hungry and I was thinking 'what am I going to eat?' and then I said 'no, Juliet, it's not gonna be like that anymore!'" So, so good.

I have always been envious of Juliet's work. Video, paintings, drawings, collage, puppets, storytelling... and that's not even half of it. If you're my friend on facebook, become hers - there's a bunch of photos of her art. And she has the funniest status updates ever. If you're not my friend on facebook, you should be, just so she can make you laugh. Oh, and her next project? A board game that combines Memory and fortune telling... I can't wait. I'm going to try to track her down to see if she has a website I can post a link to, but in the meantime, her's a little drawing about working at the art museum that I stole from her profile:

telephone pictionary

Back in art school, we played and made up a bunch of games involving drawing, but this one really takes the cake. I was introduced to it last weekend when I had several friends at my house. Sitting around my dining room table, Lisa taught us to play a game called telephone pictionary. Your sense of humor counts for at least as much as your draftsmanship skills.

I would recommend playing with no less than four people, with 5-8 being optimal.

Game play is simple:

1. Gather up a bunch of small pieces of paper (we ended up playing with pieces that were approximately 4" x 2.5" -- but use whatever you will feel comfortable with). For each round, every player will get a stack of papers equal to the number of players in the game. In this case, we had eight players, so we needed 64 sheets per round.

2. Distribute the papers to each player. Number the pages (in this case, 1-8).

3. For the first turn, each player writes a phrase on sheet 1. It can be anything, and any number of words. It doesn't have to be a person, place, thing, or quote - make up whatever you want.

4. Each player passes their stack of papers to their left, with 1 on top.

5. When you receive your stack, look at the phrase on sheet 1, put it in the back of the stack, and draw the phrase on sheet 2. No words, of course!

6. Pass the stack to your left.

7. When you receive the stack, look at the drawing on sheet 2, put it to the back, and write on sheet 3 a phrase which best describes the drawing from sheet 2. Most important rule here - no peeking at sheet 1!

8. Pass the stack to your left. Look at sheet 3, put it to the back, draw on sheet 4 your best representation of the phrase from sheet 3.

Game play continues this way (alternating between drawing and writing, only looking at the top sheet) until all of the papers have been used and the stack is returned to the person who wrote the first phrase on page 1. Everyone reviews the results.

...Enjoy!!!

alike but not the same

In thinking about what to write for my maiden post, I settled on Pedro Almodovar's celebration of women in his films. And then, just this afternoon, I got an e-mail from my mother containing a link to this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUDIoN-_Hxs

At first glance, I found it a bit gauche, but within seconds I was mesmerized. For such a simple idea, it made me think so much about portraiture throughout art history.

Much has been said about Mona Lisa's smile, but in seeing the portrayals of these many and varied women, one into the next, the eyes have it for me. I have been thinking lately about how it is possible to depict pathos with a minimum of "expression" in the face, for lack of a better word. We pick up on it in each other's faces every day, but how do you capture it as an artist? How do you communicate sadness without a frown, or show defeat while staring straight out at the viewer?

In almost every case, there is a story to read in these women's faces. Not necessarily a specific story, but one that the viewer can imagine, and often relate to their own lives. And to get really out-there for just a moment, I also see in these portraits a more universal thread, having to do with the "beauty and sadness" present in women's lives [to borrow a phrase from the collective].

With all of the variation in costuming, hairstyle, facial structure, and pose, there is a strong and persistent element shared by these women that makes them all appear similar. In many, I see a strength born of pain. In some, a guarded reluctance, and in others, a flirty invitation. In these faces I see my friends, my mother, and myself -- and they are all beautiful.